Wizened hand of elderly woman being held in a young woman's had whilst caressing a red rose

What Is Truly Important To You?

Does it matter?

‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said. I wanted to turn away from her, but I couldn’t. She had my hands firmly gripped in hers and my eyes locked by her turquoise gaze.

I’m coming to understand why it is the very elderly demand our attention in this manner. They hold within them wisdom shaped by the tide of experience and the winds of time. They also know that time is precious, and their remaining time is shorter than it is long.

Like my grandmother, her youngest sister was a product of the times of her birth 120 years and ago a strict puritanical upbringing. I no longer remember the specifics of this moment that I shared with her. Though I’m certain she was right, what ever it was didn’t matter. If it had I’d remember it as keenly as I remember the touch of her soft octogenarian hands.

Life turns on moments.

Every so often they remind you what is truly important – and what isn’t.

At these times you experience true clarity. You release yourself from the unnecessary burdens you’ve placed upon yourself, and you resolve, ‘I’ll never forget this lesson.’

Then, life happens, your attention shifts, and you forget. Little by little, your unhelpful inner voice pipes up, she urges you to be good and warns you not to stuff up. Like thieves in the night, your self-imposed burdens creep into your consciousness whilst you’re sleeping.

Do they matter, really matter? Are they deserving of your time and your energy? Or are they mere tricks of your mind?

Only you know, only you can tell what is truly important to you. A recent moment in my life sparked the memories I’ve shared above and this poem. I hope it helps you to reconsider whether all the things currently consuming your precious inner energy are worthy of your attention.

It doesn’t matter.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said.
‘What doesn’t matter?’ I asked.
‘All the things over which you fuss,’ she replied.

‘I hope you will come to see this as I do now.
The fears you have, the achievements you celebrate, and the regrets you hold are of no consequence.
They are the marks of time, the traces your life leaves upon you.

Look upon them as I look upon the features of these wizened hands of mine, as evidence.
Evidence of all I have experienced.
Souvenirs of my travels.
The lines of my story written upon me.

Their purpose?

Hieroglyphics to be studied by the young.
Mementos, to help an old lady remember so she may explain their meaning.’

I took her hand in mine and commenced my studies.

Written with love, as always.


Photo by Jake Thacker on Unsplash

Being You. Accept yourself. Be yourself. by Jacqui Alder

Be Successful, Be Yourself

Hi, I’m Jacqui Alder. I’m here because I’m over women being told what and how they should be.

Smiling Jacqui Alder wearing blue top in a cafe with her book

You don’t need to be fixed, there’s nothing wrong with you. 

I learned this the hard way and now I know better. I now know that the path to making it easier to stay true to yourself begins and ends with you. This is why I’ve created the beautiful books you’ll find here.

Each book is designed to help you hear yourself so you can put your energy into living a life guided by your values rather than worrying whether you’re doing the right thing by everyone else.

If you want to meet me in person or virtually, feel free to contact me. I also invite you to take a look my latest book, Being You, download the guided values exercise from my self coaching journal, or take a peek at my slightly cheeky about me page.

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